Pinch of this....Dash of that...

• *From my xanga account....
  Landon turns 2 today. A bit of me panics when I think about that. I wish there was a better way to say that time is flying by, because everyone says that and it means nothing now, but it is. Time is flying by. And I panic because I feel like I am missing so much of it. What a blessing to be home with my kids all day, but also what a curse. Kind of like being raised in a Christian home. You just always know about God, so it is less of a big deal. Well same with being a stay at home mommy...I see them all the time, so it isn't as big of a deal as if I only saw them a few hours a day. Not that I am complaining, oh no, not at all. I wouldn't trade this job for anything. Nothing. Not a single thing. I just realize that I blink and they are grown. He says his own name now. He likes to walk around saying, "I am a robot". He cracks up any time he sees a picture of his Sissy. He is my heartbreaker.
  
• God is teaching me something these days, I'm just not sure what it is. I think He's preparing me for a future ministry. I'd like to request a little more clarity though. I have had a lot of hurting women cross my path lately, and I see my way clearer and clearer to a counseling profession in the future. I feel like I am failing them all, but I see them, I hear them, I'm willing to help. And doesn't that count for something? I don't know. (This is all mental rambling that will not make sense to most of you, so don't worry if you are bored or lost or just plain old annoyed by it all.)
  
• Although I didn't vote for Obama...I consider myself a conservative democrat, but I wrestled back and forth and finally had to vote McCain for the abortion factor...I cried when he won. Not because I was upset, nope, because I was so proud of our country. I have a lot of african american friends, I have experienced racism being directed at them while I was with them, and I have seen how ugly racism can be in the strangers and family and friends around me. I was so proud to see Barack and his wife and his two gorgeous daughters walk across that stage and take their place as First Family of the USA. I don't know what his administration will do, I don't know where our country will head, but I will be praying faithfully for he and his family, and I will have mini-heartbursts (good things, not to be confused with heart attacks...bad things) every time I think of that moment when it was announced that he had won.
  
• I painted last night. It felt good. I fixed a few paintings I did a while ago and had just hanging in the utility room, waiting to be worked on again, and I got a few other ones ready to be painted. I am thinking of starting a baby/children's art business. I use the term business lightly. I'm thinking of making art work and selling it. Name ones, cars and trucks and rockets and airplanes ones. Princesses and crowns and bugs and animals ones. You know, those adorable ones that you can buy for your kid's room. I'm going to do a few as Christmas gifts for friends, and get their feedback on them. I'll ask them to spread the word, and I may put some on etsy.com.
  
• I have baby lust on and off. For those of you who don't know what that is, relax....it isn't some horrible thing. I just mean that I have been wanting another child for a bit now. I go back and forth a little bit, but I do know that I am not done having children and that I would like another one at some point. I'm not getting younger, my current kids aren't getting younger, so I don't want to wait too much longer before adding to our family.
  
• I'm making a lot of gifts this year. I hope they don't turn out tacky or cheesy. I hate cheesy homemade gifts. Does that make me a bad person?
  
• Tuesday night I was out until 2 in the morning, laughing and chatting with my girlfriends. We started out at 7:30 in a MOPS steering meeting, and then ended up in a Dunkin Donuts. It was much needed. And hubby is still unemployed (tell my baby lusting self that this is a huge reason to wait....)so he got up and let me sleep in this morning. Yeah him! See, I am trying to see the positives in the whole husband is unemployed and around 24/7 and plays video games until I could scream and isn't really trying to find a job too hard and won't fix the hole in the bathroom that needs to be patched so I can paint it. BUT, I do get to sleep in now and then (well, does 9:20 count as sleeping in? And now and then = 3 times since Aug. 9th), and I am able to grocery shop all by myself now, and I can get together with girlfriends (provided he doesn't crash the party by deciding to come along) fairly often now.