I am so angry lately. It bubbles just below the surface, begging to be released. I've never been an angry person, a bitter person, one to complain....and a friend of mine make an off-hand remark the other day about me not speaking on a certain topic because I would be "sour grapes". She didn't mean it to be harsh. She was just speaking what she saw. Her truth. And I have become that. I'm a downer. This week I have asked a few close friends to pray for me. To pray that God would show me, very clearly, what direction He would have me take. Anyone who has prayed this.....do you, deep down, really hope that it is one certain direction? I keep praying that His will would be done....but tagging onto that this phrase, "But God, you know that if you want me to go that other direction, you will have to change my heart and mind". Is that wrong? I'm just so tired of hurting and being angry and growing bitter. I want to be light-hearted again. And happy. And I want to sing. I want to be a joy-giver to people, not an emotion drainer.
I leave Saturday for a week with my in-laws. Time will be spent with both sets. I am really not looking forward to this at all. Keep those prayers going for me.