I am so angry lately. It bubbles just below the surface, begging to be released. I've never been an angry person, a bitter person, one to complain....and a friend of mine make an off-hand remark the other day about me not speaking on a certain topic because I would be "sour grapes". She didn't mean it to be harsh. She was just speaking what she saw. Her truth. And I have become that. I'm a downer. This week I have asked a few close friends to pray for me. To pray that God would show me, very clearly, what direction He would have me take. Anyone who has prayed this.....do you, deep down, really hope that it is one certain direction? I keep praying that His will would be done....but tagging onto that this phrase, "But God, you know that if you want me to go that other direction, you will have to change my heart and mind". Is that wrong? I'm just so tired of hurting and being angry and growing bitter. I want to be light-hearted again. And happy. And I want to sing. I want to be a joy-giver to people, not an emotion drainer.
I leave Saturday for a week with my in-laws. Time will be spent with both sets. I am really not looking forward to this at all. Keep those prayers going for me.
Ugh.
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3 comments:
every morning...that's when i pray for you and your children. i will continue. i will pray more fervently.
i have been focusing on mathew 21:22.
"whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive."
every single word of that is a meditation. powerful stuff.
and to answer your question: i sometimes try and hedge my prayers, but find when my heart is released from what i want to see happen it is more than i could have dreamed.
peace, friend. all is well.
I'm a spiritual person, but gave up organized religion long ago. This is the belief system I have developed after decades of searching:
My belief is that God is a constant support no matter what decisions we make. He doesn't have a particular path for us to take. There are no right or wrong answers about anything in life. We just have to do the best we can.
God has made you a wise woman. And he has given you the power to control your life. Instead of waiting for Him to show you what direction to take, look inside your heart, mind, and soul and you will find your answer.
If after lots of thinking, meditating, and praying you feel strongly one way or another, I believe that is God showing you what you should do. Trust in yourself and you are trusting in God.
Good luck with the in-laws. From what I've read this is going to be a difficult week.
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